Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Ayah is a great son!

Assalamualaikum

16 Ogos 2015
Jam 4.20 pagi, adikku mengetuk pintu bilik. "kakma, nenek dah meninggal". aku memang blur.seminit tanpa kata.lalu aku kucup dahi anakku
dengan spontan berkata "mahdi mesti jadi anak yang baik macam atok.."

Allah Allah..aku kira itu la suatu pemergian yang tersirat banyak rahsia yang tak terungkap..
kenapa nenek yang meninggal tapi jadi baik macam atok?atok adalah panggilan untuk ayah ku yang aku bahasakan untuk anak ku..nenek pula, ibu kepada ayah aku.

pada suatu malam, ayah bercerita bahawa sedari dia kecil..he always have a strong connection with her mom."nenek kau sentiasa mengharapkan apak suatu hari nanti untuk menjaga keluarga" we nodded..faham sangat because the way she treated him..so much differences among his siblings.nenek will tend to listen to my ayah advices rather than others.

Ayah cerita lagi.setiap hari..nenek akan berjalan menuju ke stesen bas.menghantar makanan bertingkat.lalu di pesan "tolong kau anta tk pake mail makan"(mail is my father).EVERYDAY!!! the food will be send everyday to the driver bus..sehingga ayah merasa begitu sebak dan menangis kerana kesusahan dan kepayahan seorang ibu yang memastikan anak nya makan walau jauh di mata.sewaktu itu ayah bersekolah di Serian (if im not mistaken). which like 40 km from house.

"apak sik kan lupak nenek suruh jual kuih..setiap pagi  ke sekolah waktu ayah masih kecil,satu tangan dengan bekalan makanan yang satu tangan memegang bakul kuih". aku cuba selami dan gambarkan kesusahn hidup mereka dulu.walau susah..tha moments became a good one for him..

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3.50 pagi,
 ayah mendapat panggilan dari Usu, nenek seperti sedang nazak.ayah ku segera bangkit dari tidur,bersiap untuk ke rumah Usu.selang 3 buah rumah dari rumah kami. Tiba di sana, ayah mendapatkan nenek yang sedang baring seperti tidur.lalu ayah mula membaca yasin.Mak ngah aku juga ada di situ.lalu dia berkata " Mail, anta lah kalimah dengan mak.kaki nya tok dh sejuk"(mengajar mengucap syahadah)
"mak.."
mm..nenek sahut lemah
"ekot aku mak aa..la illah ha.."
la illaha ha..nenek sahut lagi
"Allah.." ayah sambung lagi
nenek ikut..Allah...

lalu ayahku menyambung bacaan yasin.tidak pula mengajar habis syahadah tadi.sedikit kesal baginya..tp cukup lah Laillahaillah..sudah tersebut di bibir nenek
Ayah pandang lagi nenek,melihat matanya seperti tidak katup rapat seperti sebelum tadi.tahu lah..Allah telah menjemput nenek.di samping ayah..tanpa sebarang kesakitan..Allahu..hari begitu baik,wajah nenek tersenyum setelah di kafan,bersih sekali..saat aku ceritakan ini,air mata benar benar jatuh..ini lah khusnul khatimah kematian yang baik aku kira..Allah..Allah..

4 hari sebelum di jemput Allah, nenek demam.yang menyebabkan badan nya lemah hingga tidak mampu pun untuk bangun waima ke tandas.ayah ku berulang alik selama 4 hari itu, setiap kali nenek hendak ke tandas, Usu tekefon ayah.setiap kali waktu makan, ayah tak makan semeja dengan kami.dia bergegas ke rumah Usu menyuap nenek makan.membantu nya mandi, wuduk, solat, mengimamkan nenek. di bawa ke klinik untuk tambah air..malam juga ke sana memastikan nenek tidur beralas selimut takut kesejukkan.
Adik beradik ayah turut selalu juga ke rumah Usu dalam 4 hari itu membantu nenek.

A day after the funeral,ayah fetched me from home.while driving i asked him "apak, are you okay?"
a long silent and slowly he said "i missed her.."
saat itu aku rasa..ya Allah kenapa aku tak sedar terlalu awal untuk aku tanya kan soalan itu kepada Ayah.dan saat itu juga..air mata ayah berderai derai jatuh and he burst out everything..he cried and cried..with loud sobs..while i felt so guilty..and i cried too with him..

dalam tangis..aku kuatkan hati dan menepuk bahu ayah..
" you have been such a great son dad..u have been such a great son.."

Saturday, September 26, 2015

i quit and im happy!

Assalamualaikum

post kali ini saya nak ceritakan berkenaan perbualan saya dengan seorang sahabat saya yang banyak meninggalkan kesan kepada saya.

saya pernah berkata padanya "jeles diat tkorg semua dh kerja.aku salu supan ngan kawan2 kita.mesti cdak pandang rendah dgn aku yg xkeja" (jelous lah tengok semua orang dah kerja.kadang2 malu sangat rasa nak jumpa kawan2.mesti pandang rendah dengan aku yang tak keja)
sahabat saya pn cakap "sik boleh kau padah camya isma"(tak boleh cakap macam itu isma)

di panjang kan cerita..sahabat pn bercerita pengalaman nya berkerja dalam bidang nursing yang kami sama2 belajar dulu.sahabat saya ini orang utara.boleh lagi cakap fluent gila bahasa sarawak..mmg aku respect!!

beliau menceritakan sekarang beliau bekerja di hospital swasta somewhere di key ell (KL).sister ward sangat racist(chinese). dia tak di benarkan bertudung pun.so sahabat saya pun mengambil inisiatif pakai anak tudung saja..huhu.setiap hari memang stressful sebab bila boss dh tak suka..mmg kesalahan kecil kita pn dia nampak..di tambah lagi career sebagai nurse ini..semua orang tahu kerja memang sangat memenatkan.tiba2 sahabat aku berkata " aku dh lelah jadi nurse..isma"(aku dah letih jadi nurse..isma)
sebenarnya dan sejujur nya saya agak tersentak.kerana itu lah career kami yang mengambil jurusan nursing.i guess being a nurse after being graduated is always a dream.plus its just 2 years and already said you are tired...aku tanya why????
" letih gilak.aku kerja pun sebab aku dah sik da skill lain yang aku tauk.kau sik palah kau pande bisnes" (letih sangat.aku kerja pun sebab aku dah tiada skill lain yang aku tahu.kau xpa sebab pandai bisnes)

sahabat saya berkata memang nursing is a tiring job.letih mental dan fizikal.true dat!!saya pun memang sempat bekerja sekejap as a nurse.memang tekanan mental pun boleh tahan especially dari  staffs.sekarang sahabat saya ini sedang apply kerja di mekah/madinah.itu juga cita2 saya..sahabat beria2 bercerita impiaan kami..bila saya kerjakan umrah cukup lah membeli tiket saja.selebih nya tinggal lah di rumah nya kelak dn bersama2 lah mengerjakan umrah..saya teruja gila..beruntung nya kerja di sana dapat beribadat di tempat suci.

sahabat menyambung lagi."mun aku dah kawen.aku akan berenti kerja macam kau juak.at least kau happy bah isma.aku sik happy lansung."(kalau aku dah kahwin aku akan berhenti kerja macam kau juga.at least kau happy.aku tak happy lansung)

ya true that..again saya rasa bersetuju sangat..i trully happly with my life now.syukur alhamdulillah..tiada lagi rasa confius sedih sebab terpaksa pakai pakaian ikut badan.. uniform nurse di malaysia ni.no more worries perlu ke pegang uncle yang kesakitan..tidak lagi perlu memujuk diri cakap itu darurat..tiada lagi rasa bersalah bagi dos ubat yang salah(sebenarnya tak bahaya dalam kes saya tp sbb tak seperti yg doktor prescribe..takut gila n rasa bersalah dengan patient).n more important.no more gossiping.since dah jadi surirumah..teman bercakap hanya lah suami.lega jugak.always d tempat kerja mesti banyak sangat isu dan konflik d antara staffs akibat gosip2,fitnah,cakap belakang..i dont get it..benda kecik pun boleh jadi isu nak gaduh  -_-

"u are true azy..aku memang sik patut jeles.aku memang happy eh zi!!i really mean it..hehe.."

saya sehingga sekarang tak pernah rasa menyesal atas keputusan yang saya ambil 2 tahun lepas untuk berhenti kerja sebagai nurse.menjadi suri rumah sepenuh masa.mencuba sedaya upaya menjaga aurat dan pergaulan dengan masyarakat luar(bukan anti social okay..cakap bila perlu saja..hehe)dan yang penting..tiap kali bangun pagi..no more rushing bersiap pergi kerja.just wake up and enjoy the sun riseand a cool breeze.mun ngantok tido balit...mentally happy =)
alhamdulillah ^^

and to my dear friend azy..i wish good luck for your future undertaking! there will be a good thing comes ahead when you put Allah as your priority.in shaa Allah.i really hope you get a job at Mekah/ Madinah.cant wait to hear from you soon ;)




Thursday, June 13, 2013

The man Who can'T be moveD




The script- the man who cant be moved


Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says son you can't stay here
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl, oh whoa
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
'Cause you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet
Oh, you see me waiting for you on a corner of the street

So I'm not moving
('Cause if one day you wake up, find that you're missing me)
I'm not moving
(And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be)
I'm not moving
(Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet)
I'm not moving
(Oh, you see me waiting for you on a corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
 
*everytime i listen to this song..it remembered me of my husband.the man who can't be moved..that is totally you!!when i let him hear this song..he felt so shy..hahah(bcuz its totally him!)
thnks yin for introducing me to this song.haha..a tribute to my husband..with luv,wife.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

hadiah dari Allah

assalamualaikum
wah what a blast of life i had in early 2013..status changed to married for like...1 month ++..
a great gift by Allah..a lovely husband.thank you for sending me this gift..a person that taking care of me well here.mom dad..plese dont worry bcuz im alright here.

last week i had a short training at Tadika Al amin.so near to my house.like less than 5minutes using car.alhamdulillah..i was accepted for the job as an assistant there.i am not thinkg to further my career as a nurse anymore..but then..the knowledge will always be a gud one that i had in life.tq Allah for the job =)

for this past few days,im not feeling well.i miss mom that always massage me when i had a fever.so my husband tried the same thing.i know he had put an effort for that..heheh but will never be as nice as mom =)
after like 2 days still feeling unwell..i was thinking to take panadol.but i had this hesitation feeling afraid that i might be pregnant.panadol is not gud for pregnant mother.

so then..yesterday i had upt(urine pregnancy test) by myself.n ok..another gift by Allah.alhamdulillah i am pregnant!!ya Allah..there is nothing more to say to You but alhamdulillah praise to You..another gift u sent to me..syukur..nk sujud syukur tp dlm toilet..hehehe
alhamdulillah..
mom dad..also plese dont worry.eventhough i am far from everyone..i will make sure im healthy during this pregnancy.we are happy here =)

with luv from ulu tiram, isma


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

jemputan kahwin =)

Assalamualaikum
setelah agak lama membiarkan blog xterusik,akhirny isma berniat untuk menulis sedikit.sekadar untuk sesiapa yang tergerak hati untuk membaca blog ini.
isma dgn rendah diri menjemput semua pembaca blog, untuk hadir majlis akad nikah isma dgn pasangan,adi. pada:

24 mac 2013
jam 10 pagi
di lot 3278 taman desa guru jalan sultan tengah kuching sarawak

sekiranya tidak dpt menghadirkn diri, titipkan lah doa untuk kami mengharungi kehidupan rumah tangga yg penuh dugaan dgn hati yg sentiasa tetap mengingati Allah..perkahwinan ini adalah menegakkan kalimah Allah..subhanaAllah..jemput semua.
jazakallah hu khairan

assalamualaikum =)

Monday, October 29, 2012

monday blue turn red =)

assalamualaikum

finally meeting monday.its raining so heavily this morning.i was so lazy to wake up and go to work.i was thinking for any good reason to apply for sick leave..heheh..(trok ny isma)
but then.deep in my heart saying that this is wrong isma..huhu..so i mange to pull up and get myself ready.
alhamdulillah dpt juak mlawan bisikan syaitan yg jahat itu..heheh
arrived at clinic..i was welcome by a news that there was a patient in a labour room...wah a delivery is waiting for me this morning!!!

again..reminiscing those memories during my attachment..i stared at those blood and smells..i started to feel nauseated..(again this feeling)..huhu..which i dont like.but then i said to myself..not this time again isma..u have to face this!!(gambate isma!!)

holding the mother,her husband was in to give her support.she tried hard to push..hard as hard as she could.again i dont like the feeling of having tears on my eyes..bcuz i was so sad looking at the mother with pain..it was so painful.almost one hour, she still unable to deliver. her husband started to give her air zam2..read some doa..the mother said.."tolong lah anak ku..tolong mak..tolong keluar.."
cdh nye..sa mk nangis isma dga..ibu dh byk kali kejang tgn n kaki..ayah pn bagi semangt..everyone were so supportive!!

until one point..a mother seems to gve up.."tak dapat..Allah tolong lah..knapa xdpt.."
kami ckp.."dapat..dapat..jgn ckp xdpt"

9:07 am: 
a baby boy was safely delivered!!!!alhamdulillah..a husband kiss his wife forehead and said.."alhamdulillah!!terima kasih sayang".it was such a great moment..alhamdulillah..subhanAllah..a new life begin at this moment..smoga mnjadi anak yg soleh =)

after cleaning up the baby,i pick him up and took him for bathing.sgt cumel ok!!cm lamak dh xplah keja tk!!WA...HARI INI SKALI LAGI..SAYA MANDIKAN BABY!!!

after settle everything..i had this feeling of..relief =)
and and mk juak ada baby!!heheh..

alhamdulillah..skali lagi melihat kekuasaaan Allah yg semudah itu mmberi kehidupan..mghidupkan hamba atas izin Nya..subhanAllah..a good start of my monday..turn red la ri isnin tok!!hehe..trus panas =)
kepada bakal suami saya..anda mesti menemani saya ketika saya bsalin juga!mesti dan wajib =)
insyaAllah..

DOA MENDAPAT ANAK YANG SOLEH (Doa Nabi Ibrahim)

Wahai Tuhanku, kurniakanlah kepadaku anak yang terhitung dari orang-orang yang soleh. 
(Surah As-Saffat:100)